Fantasy Links for Writers

[The following are pure fiction. Any resemblance to current or future net locations is coincidental, and highly improbable.]

http://www.Insanity press.butterfly.net - publishers beg you to send them your manuscript; high six figure advances, giant publicity budgets and star treatment guaranteed.

http://www.A.Muse.hmm - Automatic Idea Generator. Ideas are available in small, medium and large to fit your article, short story, nonfiction book or novel. They may also may be ordered in original or recycled versions. Specify timely or evergreen. Prices available on request.

http://www.Stepford.writer.sloth - automatic novel writing software which eliminates your need to do anything but cash the royalty checks.

http://www.Oprahlink.bucks - little known direct link to the top of the list for future selections of the Oprah Book Club.

http://www.Cookbook.hot - foolproof recipes for concocting a market sizzler, includes all key ingredients (gratuitous violence and graphic sex optional).

http://www.Great Reviews.Rah - guarantees unconditional approval of everything you submit in your choice of raves, hyperbole, general gushing, flattering comparisons, or a combination of the above.

http://www.Sellcheck.hit - commercial upgrade software makes your book's content and packaging irresistible to the bookbuyer.

http://www.hitman.com - order a thug to take care of that rotten publisher or agent who turned you down.

http://www.groundswell.buzz - builds word-of-mouth for your book.

If you have any suggestions for fantasy links, e-mail me at jkelman@jkelman.com.